Happy things first!! I passed my f t t, thanks to e trial and not the books I bought…now just hope my instructor books for me an earlier test date. Another thing is Mei and high school cockroach leg returned to Aik ido =) Mei’s performance and standard in class was superb in every aspect, tweak a little here and there and there’s nothing to worry about already. Went to my grandma’s house and borrowed the first 4 hairy pot ter movies, then went to giant to shop.

This part is a little long and boring, might also be a little hard to comprehend, and I might have missed out some stuff. Basically what’s below is just a portion of my mind and its attempt to make myself feel better, its ok to read but don’t let it get to you, its like dark arts…

Sorry Mei, wasn’t able to join you and your family. Should have told you I already went back home, but like I said, owe you one outing =) I’m also sorry that I watch hairy pot ter beforehand, maybe you will think its just a small thing but I feel I was a letdown, maybe when you all read this there maybe some consequences, but I don’t think so, since it’s a one way thing. You all know my mind can travel very far, can think of a lot of things (you guys won’t believe how much my mind can come up with..), and recently something happened and I thought a gap was beginning to form between us, and this led to some of the really lousy mood and posts recently (But after seeing you all the other day, I realized everyone and everything was normal, and it was just me, everything negative was just myself) so to high school cockroach leg, it was why the other day I decided to go home, cause I didn’t want to burden anyone with my own stupid problems. I realize that wasn’t the best decision but I was thinking a lot about it and I thought it was the most conflict-avoiding option. But I wanna assure you all that everything is ok by the time you all read this, talking about problems sometimes solves the problem, and I had a nice talk with myself, that’s why I’m writing all this here, to let people who would like to know what’s going on inside of me, know what’s going on. Cause I believe I seldom let my emotions flow out, so not many have seen me sad or angry or whatever. And then I’d probably be wondering why no one talks to me about my problems..stupid eh. But the other day high school cockroach leg wrote something about guys having emotions or getting emotional like girls. And the more I thought about it, the more it stung me, cause I felt that it applied to me as well, rather stupid of me huh, to hide up almost every emotion I have, yet let it leak out like a broken tap. So in other words the problem is emotions, and it makes one weak, I’ve really become very interested with Sna pe’s character, I should learn to become cold just like him perhaps. But enough of that for today, the reason why I said sorry for watching hairy pot ter is simply because I lost abit of faith, its really stupid that’s why I have to say sorry, and sorry most probably wouldn’t be enough. This kinda mistakes, is really so bad I can’t think of any ways of repent..i’m really just so sorry sometimes, guess it’s a slight burden for Jo ey to have such a kor also..and forgot to write, was eating the other day and this girl just kept going on about being chinese and wasting food, fair enough i have nothing to say about my chinese, i just sucks, so i hope she's really happy about it, and about the wasting food part, that one is pretty deep, it doesn't matter what food i have, i always try to finish what's on my plate or in my bowl. So to have a comment like that directed to me left me a little sad. And i'm gonna "talk" to the 2 tubes of lard for an unforgivable remark.
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Hmm, have to stop here, because I was writing everything out, trying to put them in an order whereby its more easy to understand, then I started filling in some things and finally, my mind got lost in its wonderfully big maze. But just to sum up, maybe I’m a letdown, and I feel I’m one, and maybe its left a mark behind, I wanna let you know that it wasn’t intentional, I’ll definitely right as many of my wrongs and I’m really trying hard to be better also. And I can never say sorry enough for what wrong I’ve done, but I wish you can all forgive me. Better days ahead ok?? =)ok, forgot to write, if Mei wanna watch hairy pot ter kor wouldn't mind watching again de, i mean unless Mei not gonna watch with other friends

Labels: maybe i'm a freak like MJ